I started work again full time when my baby was 3 months old... it has been so hard to be away from baby Aiden for so many hours during the day and even though I’ve been back at it for two months now, I still find myself getting choked up when I think of him and crying in my cubicle. I am incredibly blessed that my mother is my baby’s full time babysitter! I trust her more than anyone else and I leave every morning knowing he is in the most capable hands of someone who loves him almost as much as I do. He is growing very attached to her and when she walks into the room his face lights up. It makes me so happy that they have bonded and puts my mind at ease. Still, I am his mother and it isn’t easy leaving my baby.
On the flip side of that, I really enjoy waking up every morning, getting dressed and actually putting makeup on to go somewhere. I have more respect for stay-at-home moms than ever because it can sort of feel like “hamster on a wheel” when you are home with a baby. I lived in my yoga pants for 3 months with my hair in a knot and a shirt constantly adorned with spit-up. I certainly was happy for the time with my baby but excited to get back into the world again and have some adult conversation.
Some people say you can’t have the best of both worlds but I have been determined to be a working mom, my son’s primary caregiver and not compromise his nutrition in the process. We worked so hard to get to the place of exclusively breastfeeding and now that we are here, I can’t ever go back. I pump at work every two hours and try to stay hydrated. At first I was using my single electric pump but realized after about two weeks that I needed to rent a hospital grade double pump. It has been amazing! I keep milk for Aiden in the refrigerator at work and then bring it home every day to be stored in freezer bags. I won’t let my career or anything else stand in the way of breastfeeding my son – there’s no stopping us now!! Who knows maybe I’ll even nurse a toddler? Yikes!