We just found out today that we’re going to move out of state. My husband got a new job and while it’s an amazing opportunity for him, I’m a little melancholy. I’ve been in Texas for over ten years now and I took it for granted that this would be our forever home.
I love our house – it’s got just the right amount of space, it’s got loads of character and I adore our neighborhood. We have a great parent’s network and I had visions of my little girl growing up with the kids in the neighborhood, going from kindergarten to high school with them like I did in my hometown. To think that she won’t remember her first house makes me a little wistful. My husband and I have so many memories in this house and I can just see her rolling her eyes when Mom and Dad start talking about the ‘olden days’ in the house in Texas.
But that’s when it hit me. She’s her own person and she’s going to have her own memories of a different house and different friends and they’re going to be all her own. Even this young, she is living her own life, telling her own story and even now, I’m a witness. It’s hard to think about my child as an independent being, separate from me, especially when she needs me so much right now. Yet, her story is going to be so different from my own and hearing the news that we’re about to start a new adventure really got me thinking about that.
My daughter is a part of my soul. She will forever be connected to me. But at the same time, she is separate, with her own distinct tastes and interests and she will have the confidence to find her own path. As she becomes more aware of her surroundings and her place in the world, she’ll have a much different backdrop than I did. I’m at once excited and nervous for her. I can’t wait to see who she’ll become, what choices she’ll make and how much more successful she’ll be than I was. And of course, I’m nervous because each day I feel more vulnerable as a parent. She was ultimately protected when I held her inside me and each day I have to loosen my hold just a little more.
I’m excited for our move and I’m excited to watch my daughter grow and develop her personality and make her special mark on the world. I thought we’d stay here forever, but the more I think about it the happier I get. I get to see a new place through her eyes. We get to explore together and while she may not remember her time in Texas, we’ll have plenty of great memories, no matter where we land.